Your average chaw has an obsession with wearing teflon covered tracksuits, in general, sporting offensive three stripe or naked woman designs.

Not all chaws use public transport. However, do not fear, chaw-mobiles are easy to spot. Before you see the car you will note a particularly disturbing noise polluting the surrounding air. This is known by chaws as 'happy hardcore'. The car itself will be a white ford escort. You may notice cases when it is a fiesta; do not worry, this is perfectly normal. All this means is that all the ford escorts in their area have particularly good security systems.

It appears that for some bizarre reason chaws develop the urge to reproduce much earlier than their genetic cousins, humans. It is not uncommon to see what we might consider to be a very young chaw with offspring. Through scientific study of the species it seems that it is the pedal pusher and boob-tube wearing sect that produces the most chawlets so early on in life.

It is convenient for our chaw-spotting purposes that all chaws look identical. However, be careful, this is no mere coincidence; it is a cunning plan masterminded by chaws for their own defence. Male chaws will wear the traditional tracksuits and Nike trainers. Their hair will be very short, held in place by a superfluous amount of hair gel. The reason for this is to complement the greasy theme which all chaws present so masterfully on their faces. The females will have, without exception, peroxide blonde hair in a wet perm. Normally this will be scraped back into a ponytail or bun in such a way as to use the maximum amount of scrunchies. Note: scrunchies must be white or an offensive fluorescent colour. In keeping with their male counterparts, the females spray their hair securly into position, to such an extent that you will notice the ponytail will not move, neither will the two bits of hair, strategically left out of their chosen hair style and cemented on either side of their faces. The reason for wearing their hair tied up is to show off their gold hoop earrings and line of unblended bright orange foundation around the edge of their faces.

Communication with Chaws is very difficult as the language they speak is quite far removed from that spoken by normal people. They feel the need to use expletives for every other word, also chawspeak is difficult to comprehend as they move their lips as little as possible, producing a vague muttering noise, indecipherable to non-chaws.